Everything seems to slow down in Alabama; even time seems to take a break. You may want to change your mind about going to the Heart of Dixie if you have ever considered it. There are 12 strong reasons why you should never, ever think about moving to Alabama (unless you like both sweet tea and sarcasm in equal amounts).
The heat and humidity are relentless
Not just hot, it’s so hot that you can walk through a bowl of warm soup. It will get hot in March and stay hot until November.
Sweet tea is the only beverage
Don’t worry about water. If you ask for a drink in Alabama, you’ll get sweet tea that is so sweet it can stand on its own.
The bugs are practically locals
It’s not that mosquitoes in Alabama bite; they eat. How big are the bugs? We’ll just say that they’d be the stars of a scary movie.
Football is a religion
Not just any game, either. You’re either on Team Alabama or Team Auburn. If you can’t decide, you won’t be able to make any friends.
No snow days
Alabama doesn’t believe in snow, so you won’t need that warm winter coat. Waiting a very long time for a snow day is not going to happen.
Alabama time
There’s no need to hurry. If you’ve ever been in a hurry, Alabama will teach you how to wait, even if you don’t want to.
Barbecue will ruin all other food for you
There’s no need to hurry. If you’ve ever been in a hurry, Alabama will teach you how to wait, even if you don’t want to.
Lightning-fast accents
The southern drawl is like a code. You won’t understand it until you’ve lived here for a while, maybe even decades.
Drive-thru daiquiris
In Alabama, there are places where you can get a daiquiri at a drive-thru. This may sound fun, but it’s not a good idea. You’ll drink cocktails from your cup stand a lot more often than you meant to.
Nature everywhere
Want to stay away from nature? That’s too bad. Alabama has beautiful scenery that will make you want to hike, fish, or even camp.
Small towns, big personalities
Your business name, what you ate for breakfast, and your name are known by everyone. Privacy? Why do they need it?
Sweet home? More like sticky home
With all the bugs, heat, and humidity, it feels more like living in an oven than in a state. Enjoy that layer of sweat that stays on all the time!
Don’t say we didn’t warn you if Alabama’s beauty is still drawing you in. You’ll never run out of tea, sports rivalries, or mosquito bites there. But hey, Alabama might be your “sweet” home after all if you like adventure (and heat).
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