Patrick and Brittany Mahomes tied the knot in Hawaii over the weekend – so naturally we need to draw conclusions as to what that means for his on the field play.
Chiefs Focus @ChiefsFocus
Charles Robinson @CRob5769
Let’s all take a break from criticizing Brett Veach for not signing every available free agent in the first 4 hours of free agency to recognize the marriage of our king and (like it or not) queen. By now everyone has seen at least a couple photos from KC’s first couple’s wedding in Hawaii this weekend. Patrick Mahomes and his wife Brittany were wed surrounded by friends and family in what appeared to be the coolest place on Earth. Part resort, part golf course nestled close to one of Hawaii’s beautiful beaches.
Appeared to be a dream wedding and has me questioning my choice to get married in Bonner Springs, KS. Again, as I covered in my bachelor party blog different budgets require different actions. Patrick has a “fly everyone to Hawaii for a multi-day endless booze party” budget, and I have a “this wedding is going to bankrupt me” budget.
But as I was working to avoid armchair GM’s opining on which free agent the Chiefs should sign – even some that aren’t free agents that some folks seem to think we should sign – who the Chiefs should trade for, etc on Twitter over the weekend, Mahomes wedding content was one of the things that kept appearing on my feed. I can only dominate Wordle once a day, so my internet options become limited once I get through my 2-4 guesses on that. Mahomes wedding it was, at 6:30 on the john on Saturday morning.
My first thought was obviously “man it’d be tight to be there”. I mean, come on. That’s got to be one of the best parties every thrown right? The Coors Light kid just drowning all of his boys in beers, expensive wine, and top shelf booze? On the beach. In Hawaii. Golf and shenanigans with the boys by day, and bringing it back in and mingling with the significant others by night. I mean look at this :
Mahomes and Travis Kelce are having an absolute blast. The dancing. The fits. No shoes for Pat! These men could care less about anything in the world other than the time they’re spending in paradise with their closest associates. Who can blame them? Live it up.
As I sat there, however, one thought crept into my mind. “I wonder how other great QBs have performed after their respective weddings?” This is why I spend 15-20 minutes in the bathroom at a time. What starts as a simple bodily function nearly always turns into an extended google, youtube, or reddit wormhole. I have the brain of a squirrel.
I started by creating a criteria of quarterback – not too old, not too young, and elite. I can’t go out there and compare guys like Baker Mayfield, Matt Ryan, or Y.A. Tittle to Mahomes. It would make no sense. I couldn’t compare him to guys like Kurt Warner and Russell Wilson because he’s not getting married just so he can sleep with his fiancé. He’s already had sex at least one time, confirmed.
While there are ways to push this narrative in any direction you’d like, and paint whatever picture you may want to paint, journalistic integrity and simple mindedness brought me to several signal callers that we could compare Mahomes to. I went an era in the past for these findings.
What I found was not comforting. I started by looking at a guy who has what I hope for Pat and Brittany – a long marriage, a couple kids, multiple Super Bowls and MVPs, and a gold jacket. Peyton Manning. How did he do the season after he married his wife, Ashley, in 2001? Well….not great. Outside of his rookie year when he threw 28 picks and his final season in Denver where he was hurt for a lengthy stretch of the season, 2001 was Manning’s worst year of his career. He threw 23 picks in 2001, and missed the Pro Bowl the only time in his career other than the two seasons I mentioned before. On top of that, the Colts finished the season 6-10, and Manning missed the playoffs for just the second (and last) time in his career. The honeymoon hangover was real for Peyton. I had to keep digging for a comparison.
Tom Brady. Let’s try Tom Brady. Brady tied the knot with Gisele in 2009. For those of you wondering about his first marriage – do some research. He was never married to Bridgette Moynahan apparently, although that could be some sort of Mandela effect taking place. Regardless, Brady didn’t have a bad year in 2009, but he was far from his best. It’s understandable, he was coming off of an ACL tear and even won the NFL’s Comeback Player of the Year (because of course he did), but the Pats were a ho-hum 10-6 and were trounced in the Wild Card round 33-14 by the Baltimore Ravens. He also had the 2nd most INTs of his career (which at this point is like 30 years) with 13. On to the next one.
Drew Brees! Surely Drew Brees, the loving family man that he is improved after his wedding, right? Right?? Well, Drew Brees got married in February of 2003. How did his 2003 season go? Oh boy. Started 11 games, went 2-9 with 11 touchdowns and 15 picks, and got benched for Doug Flutie.
At this point, nothing was going right in my search for any glimmer of hope for a great honeymoon season for Mahomes. But then it hit me.
Brett Favre. The gunslinger! The quarterback everyone compared Mahomes to out of college before twitter delusion took over and the world wanted to start benchmarking everyone off of Tom Brady! Of course this would be a crap shoot – Brett Favre has surely been married multiple times, right? No! The Mississippi pigskin whipper is still married to his lovely wife Deanne, even after he put on that pair of Crocs and sent the infamous (below the belt) selfie to Jen Sterger. They were married in July of 1996, and what happened a few months later is what we can only pray for for Patrick Mahomes. A career high 39 TDs, only 13 picks, league MVP (his second of 3 consecutive), First Team All Pro, and a Super Bowl victory. Bingo.
If Mahomes follows up his wedding like Favre did in 1996, I don’t think anyone would have complaints. And if he doesn’t? Life will go on. The past few days have made me realize that a lot of people in Chiefs Kingdom need to establish an identity outside of twitter and stop worrying about feeling like they’re “plugged in” or “have sources”. Even a blind squirrel will occasionally find a nut.
Look at the picture of Mahomes and Kelce again in the middle of the blog – do you think they care about what folks online are saying about them, or their teammates? Hell no. Let the dominos fall as they will, do things that make you happy, and enjoy your life.