Wisconsin: 12 Reasons You Should Never, Ever Consider Relocating There

Cheese flows like water in Wisconsin, America’s Dairyland, where winter is the fifth season. You may need a reality check before moving to cheesehead country. Before you get snowed in with Packers fans, here are 12 reasons to reconsider moving to Wisconsin.

Cheese obsession is real

Wisconsinites are serious about dairy. They have cheese curds, cheese hats, and cheese festivals. If you are lactose intolerant, just pack it up immediately.

Bratwurst overload

It’s more than simply a sausage; it represents a way of life. I hope you’re prepared to explain why you ate burgers instead of brats at every picnic.

Winters are brutal

Winter lasts around half a year, and we’re not talking about a little sprinkling of snow. Prepare for snowbanks as high as you and wind chills that will freeze your eyelashes.

Everyone is a Packers fan

We mean everyone. If you don’t support the green and gold, you’ll feel like an outsider during football season and beyond.

Beer is practically a food group

In Wisconsin, beer is as important as bread. If you don’t enjoy grabbing a cold one on every occasion, you may feel left out.

The accent will sneak up on you

Suddenly you find yourselves “saying things like ‘yah,’ ‘dontcha know,’ and ‘bubbler’ instead of ‘water fountain.’” Good luck explaining that to anyone outside of Wisconsin.

The mosquitoes mean business

Summer in Wisconsin is essentially a battle between you and a swarm of ravenous mosquitos. And believe us, they are relentless.

Cheese curds are addictive

Once you pop, you can’t stop. Cheese curds, whether fried or fresh, will spoil all other snacks—and your waistline will not thank you.

Friday night fish fry is a weekly event

It’s more than just dinner; it’s a social gathering. And if you’re not going to a fish fry every Friday, what are you doing?

You’ll need an ice scraper year-round

Even when you think the winter is ended, Wisconsin enjoys a surprise April blizzard. You’ll never fully pack up your winter clothes.

Lakes everywhere

If you do not enjoy sailing, fishing, or lakefront bonfires, you are out of luck. Everyone expects you to be a fan of Wisconsin’s numerous lakes.

The rivalry with Illinois is intense

Wisconsinites have a unique rivalry with Illinois, particularly Chicagoans. When you cross the state boundary, you’ll quickly know where the “Flatlanders” fall in the hierarchy.

So, if you’re still determined to brave the weather, prepare for Packers games, and consume enough cheese to be a certified dairy specialist, welcome to Wisconsin. It’s a tough winter environment, but the cheese is worth it. But, hey, if you can endure a Wisconsin winter, you can handle anything, right?

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